I do have an original 10-sentence description of the main character: Fat. Obese. Slutty. Stupid. Spoiled. Whiny. Damaged. Uncaring. Innapropriate.
Heres the breakdown.
He's fat, because he constantly eats.
He's obese because I needed another word like fat to truly describe his utter magnitude. Also, he doesn't even try to excercise.
He's always spending time with hookers, or at least paying someone to do him.
He's stupid because he doesn't even understand how low he is.
He's spoiled because he's the 1,238th richest man in russia, and he spends extravagantly and even throws away the idea of a charity.
He's whiny because whenever he's hurt he just calls up his therapist in NEW YORK and tells him he's been undercut by a comrade.
He's damaged because he had a very unhealthy relationship with his father.
He's uncaring because he constantly beats his servants.
And he's just plain innapropriate because HE JUST HAD SEX WITH HIS MOTHER IN LAW!
Eww!
Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!
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(Barf)
