I told you I was going to suck at this.

I do have an original 10-sentence description of the main character: Fat. Obese. Slutty. Stupid. Spoiled. Whiny. Damaged. Uncaring. Innapropriate.

Heres the breakdown.

He's fat, because he constantly eats.
He's obese because I needed another word like fat to truly describe his utter magnitude. Also, he doesn't even try to excercise.
He's always spending time with hookers, or at least paying someone to do him.
He's stupid because he doesn't even understand how low he is.
He's spoiled because he's the 1,238th richest man in russia, and he spends extravagantly and even throws away the idea of a charity.
He's whiny because whenever he's hurt he just calls up his therapist in NEW YORK and tells him he's been undercut by a comrade.
He's damaged because he had a very unhealthy relationship with his father.
He's uncaring because he constantly beats his servants.
And he's just plain innapropriate because HE JUST HAD SEX WITH HIS MOTHER IN LAW!

Eww!

Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!
...
...
...
(Barf)

I told you

Alright: I messed up, but I have completely forgotton what day I'm supposed to write up the blog on.

Furthermore, the book is absolutely disgusting. I'm going to be blunt: He spent an entire chapter talking about the sexual experiance of eating food, the next chapter he spent singing some sort of rap with his drunk, fat american friend and his mother-daughter prostitute girlfriends, and in another chapter he wrote about a botched circumcision (he's jewish) he had under some high drunk hasids from new york. As a matter of fact, he has used the word khui over 50 times now, especially when referring to his obese and drunk sex acts with his prostitute girlfriend.

Do I have to keep reading?

(I'm not very good with blogs)

So I've started reading "Absurdistan" by Gary Shteyngart, a story about the 1,238th richest man in Russia in the year 2001, and his oddysey in getting a visa to go back to the United Staes, which he loves. He is a whiny, obese and depressing lump of lard, so the story better be good.